Thursday, October 16, 2008

Dear Computer,

I have an announcement to make. Are you sitting?

Well go sit down then. Go, I'll wait..........

C'mon. Ahem. Waiting..

Okay. You're sitting now. Good.

Now get the hell up!

Just kidding, you can sit back down. Really. I was kidding.

Fine. Be that way. Screw you too.

No, I won't tell you what my announcement is now. Yeah, I'm being the baby? What? What was that?

Sure, now you don't say anything. God, you piss me off sometimes. You can be sooo freaking emotional. Keeping hanging like that and I'll send you to the repair store.

Sometime's I feel like this isn't working out. It's not really you. It's me. It is. I can be so unstable. I infect your world with nonsense. It's not fair. Not to you. Not to your mouse Tommy who feels the need to crap on my desk.

Oh. Oh. Don't even go there. You wanted the stupid mouse! They need walks. You need to walk them. Is that so hard to understand?

Guess not.

....

Okay. Listen. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. We can work through this, I know we can. This is just a bump in the road. A minor bump in a very long and wonderful road.

Okay. Are we good now? You wanna hear my announcement? Are you sitting down?

Kidding. Kidding.

Okay. Ready? Ahem....

I finally have a pass in my Accountings! 55 out of 100! From a previous SIX out of a HUNDRED. Can you believe it? Me. Of all people. I feel so special. Like I'm actually doing something meaningful. Is it time to save the world yet? I can help. My accountings grade and I can make some noise. Do something important.

What?

I'm not lazy. Screw you. You're lazy you lazy baked-chicken pie. Whatever. I'm sorry I even told you. Like you would ever care. You're jealous. Jealous of me and my stardom.

Yeah right. You're not jealous. Check this out then. While you're out walking Tommy, I'll be saving the world with my blog.

Beat that big shot!