Tuesday, November 18, 2008

My MSN's pm was "GIRLS SHOULD NOT FART!", and with that, I've received numerous comments and colourful vocabulary from the ladies.

Scary as it may sound, apparently some girls out there just don't care about controlling their inner gas(chi?), and thus I shall make a stand for the male species.

Now I wasn’t even aware that girls went to the bathroom until I was like, 15. So you can imagine, when I recently learn that polite, innocent and flowery girls out there are capable of ripping loud and smelly stink bombs, I got freaked. This is just too weird. While they burp and fart and giggle, I grab for my garbage ready to vomit.

Us guys, we’re allowed to be disgusting. It’s in our blood. But girls, c’mon, it’s just not right. Thinking that sweet pretty cute girls do fart, it ruins every image I’ve ever had. Miss America, Miss Universe, Miss Galaxy – all of these shows now mean nothing. I can’t get all excited if I know there’s a chance Miss Hawaii farted in the dressing room.

Now, my girlfriend is good like that. I have her trained well in this short span of time. Whatever gas issues she does or does not have, are kept far away from me. On rare occasions when something might squeak through, I'd simply beat her with a bat until she realizes not to let it happen again.

So for the love of everything men hold dear, please stop this now. If you don’t, we will wage a flatulence war with the likes of nothing you have ever seen before.